Step Guide To Stonewashing Your Jeans
The 80s totally ruled, as did Def Leppard and their fashion sense. Designing your own unique, personalized stonewashed jeans is a total breeze. Some friends of mine recently asked where I get my super authentic 80s style Def Leppard look. And while some would have you believe the Def Leppard look starts with ripped jeans, those of us truly in the know, know it is almost impossible to properly stonewash a pair of pre-ripped jeans, so we never rip them before stonewashing them! And you know, just buying stonewashed jeans from Macy’s is for the feeble willed. A true Def Leppard fan and connoisseur of the most rocking decade ever, the 1980s, should be able to wash his or her own stonewashed jeans. Don’t you agree? Or are you still holding on relentlessly to your Fedora from the beat generation days?
Stonewashing jeans is probably simpler than you previously thought. To begin, just take any pair of boring old jeans and soak them in salt water for 2 days. I prefer salt water from the Dead Sea, as it contains the highest concentrate of sodium nitrates of any salt water on Earth, but I also take frequent trips to the Middle East so this is no problem for me.
You will probably have to settle for some run of the mill Atlantic of Pacific Ocean salt water. Its ok, it will do just fine. Most importantly, you won’t use salt water from the Gulf of Mexico, unless you plan on using your new stonewashed jeans as a political statement against the horrifying effects of the BP debacle going on down there. But alas if you have news outlets at your disposal to pull something like this off, you are probably too rich to be stonewashing your own jeans. So go get them at Macy’s punk!
If you aren’t rich, then you should read on! Step 2 is to wring those suckers out. Give them a real thorough wind up, twist and release. Yeah, that’s right, don’t be shy. Now, get some sand paper and rub it up and down your jeans length wise to create the desired stonewashed look. You can experiment with different grit sand paper to adjust the effect and outcome.
Now we are ready for the simplest part, step 3! Hang your new stonewashed jeans in the sun and let them drink in that vitamin D. After they have spent ample time drying, it is time to go ahead and wash and dry them normally. If you are going for the full blown Def Leppard look, I would recommend making cuts in your jeans prior to the first washing. This way the cuts will fray in the wash and thusly look all the more authentic for your next 80s revival show.
And finally step 4, let’s go ahead and wash and dry those awesome new jeans normally. I recommend using any type of generic detergent because I am cheap, but you can waste money on a brand name detergent if you like. As for dryer softeners, I don’t use them after contracting a horrifying rash in 1996 from their use. But if you like living on the edge, follow your heart. Either way, your new stonewashed jeans are going to be the talk of the town. Have fun, and don’t forget the hairspray!